As you may know, what most excites me about my work is helping people develop and share their soul’s gifts. Well John has done an amazing job of that! Check out his novels!

From John:

You invite us to share experiences, and so here’s mine. When I began IOWL I found that my issues with food linked directly to a feeling of being without worth (ie I was fat because I didn’t deserve to be thin). Through the podcasts I discovered that these feelings of worthlessness harked back to when I was really young. I was a very chubby kid with a mother who had lived through World War II and suffered not having enough food meant her family’s diet consisted of red meat, pies, fish & chips — resulting in one very fat child. Definitely a case of quantity over quality. I was *that* child in the playground that everyone homed in on. I also had glasses and very greasy hair. School was hell for me.

Thank you, Renée…

http://www.trevillian.com/ 

John Trevillian”

I came across this film project and see that you can share your story on the site. Who knows, maybe you will be featured in the film and help others.The movie is “Finding Thin”at findingthin.com.  Looks like an interesting one!

“Is it possible for me to release my excess weight for the rest of my life?” As I listened to these words, I looked up and saw this beautiful rainbow shining against my wall.  I have never seen a rainbow in my room, or even inside my house before and I saw it shining  at the same exact moment you spoke these words.

I would say the answer has to be “yes”. Thought you would love this story.

Thanks and all the best,
Gail

This email was a huge, healing gift for me. I cried when I read it.  An extraordinarily noble and courageous gift.  Thank you Ann.

Friday, Oct 8, 2010

Dear Renee,

I just wanted to write again to thank you for your amazing podcast.  I also want to apologize for my last email.  How presumptuous of me to imagine that I understood anything about you, your life, your husband, or your marriage from a silly tv show.  I’m sincerely sorry for judging you in that way.  I don’t know why I felt it was ok to do that.  I had never done such a thing before and I don’t imagine I will ever do such a thing again.  I am so sorry for believing what the producers wanted me to believe.  I think of myself as a savvy, educated person, and I feel so silly for falling for the manipulation of a “reality” tv show.  I know, and I knew at the time, that those shows are very scripted and manipulated and edited very deliberately and that producers make “suggestions” to the participants to shape the story in a certain way, often a way that has very little in common with reality.  Shame on me for buying the story.
I started listening to your podcast about 6 months ago because of recommendations from a fitness website I like (cathe.com).  I listened for awhile before making the connection that this kind-hearted and honest person I was connecting to was the same woman that I had seen on tv, and that I had, to my great horror and embarrassment, emailed.  What a shock!  Anyway, I love the podcast, and I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your curiosity and your wisdom, which applies not only to weight loss but to life in general.  Thank you so much.
Sincerely,

Ann R.
Michigan, USA

Sat, Jan 31, 2009

Dear Renee,

I’ve never contacted people I saw on a TV show before, and I’m sorry for the intrusion.  But I just have to tell you that I felt so bad for you after seeing your episode of Wife Swap.  Actually, I feel bad for everyone who had any contact with your husband.  I know you’ll get many notes telling you that education, wealth, privilege and intelligence don’t excuse boorish and cruel behavior.  I won’t go on about this because it is obviously a truth that I know you are already aware of.

Your husband is clearly abusive.  I’m the adult child of an abusive father and I know abuse when I see it.  You seem like a gentle, kind, successful, and brilliant woman.  You and your children seem cowed by this brutal man.  If he doesn’t get help and immediately STOP his abusive behavior, you really owe it to yourself and your children to get away from him.  He is clearly full of rage and I believe he is a dangerous father and husband.  I hope that your family can get help.

I am a professor of French and my husband is a professor of philosophy.  We are surrounded by highly educated people who share most of your values.  NONE of these people would ever dream of treating another human being with such horrific cruelty.  You may have been around it too long to see how unacceptable his behavior is.  Please don’t allow habit or your husband to convince you that there is any justifiable reason for this kind of behavior.  Again I’m sorry for this intrusion–it just breaks my heart to see someone inflict suffering on others.  I’ve lived it and I know the pain very well.

Ann R.
Michigan, USA

I’m sharing this blog post from listener Caren Bordowitz. She created this great graphic showing the layers of her change using the metaphor of layers of the earth. Love it!

From Caren Bordowitz:

Yesterday, I blogged that behavior modifications were just a band aid, and that deeper works needs to be done. I made a drawing of the deeper layers represented by status rock layers.
• Behaviors
My cravings, overeating, or slip ups are like a volcano breaking the surface. this shows the point where the underlying foundation is weaker.
• Thoughts
The first layer below the surface is thoughts, like a river of lava, thoughts flow freely, sometimes slowly, sometimes so fast & uncontrolled, I don’t even conscientiously notice them, they’re sub-conscientious.
• Beliefs
Below that are the boulders of beliefs (things we hold true without conclusive evidence); some are empowering beliefs, no problem, but some hold me back from reaching my full potential, those are limiting beliefs. I don’t want to keep those in my foundation. These limiting beliefs bubble up the thoughts to break through the surface as that volcano. So, what’s below the beliefs?
• Identity
That’s my identity; deep down, my identity has to change, to become rock solid, firm & good. If my identity is that I’m plump, then that’s going to act as a fault line, and all the layers above it will form a weakness.
• Soul
Down below is my essence or soul, and that’s good & divine.
• Spirit
The more connected I am to the spirit of God inside me, the better I feel.

Learn how Inside Out Weight Loss listener, and chanteuse extraordinaire Dara Tucker is healing years of allergies using the tools from IOWL!
I wrote you a couple of weeks ago to let you know that I have been listening to your podcast off and on for about a year now (very consistently for the past few months), and it’s helped me tremendously. I’m down 25 lbs. so far this year, and the principles and skills you’ve taught me have played an invaluable role in helping me to eliminate limiting beliefs, and to begin to see this weight loss journey as an adventure to be enjoyed, rather than a problem to be conquered.

I wanted to let you know that I have been applying a concept you mentioned in passing for the last few days with startling success.

I have suffered with seasonal allergies for years, and for the past few years, I have also dealt with a condition called ‘vasomotor rhinitis’ — an over-sensitivity of the nasal passages. My allergic reactions are triggered by everything from stress to emotional distress to temperature changes to tiredness.

Every allergy medication that could be prescribed has been prescribed to me. I’ve developed a tolerance to them all. For the past several years, I’ve started getting steroid shots from my doctor because they’re the only thing that’s provided any kind of relief. The problem is, they only last for 6 weeks, and you’re not supposed to get them more than once every 3 months or so, or you could end up suffering from bone deterioration. The shots are painful and embarrassing (they’re administered in the buttocks), and I have actually begun to develop a tolerance to them as well.

A few days ago, I heard you mention in one of your podcasts that you felt an allergic reaction coming on at one point, and you stilled yourself and talked to your body and envisioned yourself having clear sinuses, and the symptoms went away. I figured I had nothing to lose by trying this method — everything else has failed me.

For the past few mornings, I’ve started using this method in the mornings when I start to feel that ’swimming pool in my head’ feeling. I normally sneeze for 15 or 20 minutes every morning, no exceptions. This particular morning, I decided to place my hands over my sinuses, and calm myself. I went inside, and began to speak to my body. I said, “Thank you for protecting me. Whatever it is you’ve been protecting me from, I’m ready to deal with it now. We’re going to handle this in another way.”

What I experienced next was nothing short of a miracle. The ’swimming pool in my head’ began to subside! I felt my sinuses begin to relax, and I continued to get dressed. I’ve had to repeat this process multiple times throughout the day for several days when I feel my sinuses begin to flare up, but each time I do it, my body responds. The flare-ups have become more infrequent as the days go by. I’m happy to report that this is my first no medicine sneeze-free day in years! I can’t believe it.

You can’t possibly know what this means for my life. I’m a singer, and allergy problems are one of the worst physical ailments you can face in my line of work. What I am experiencing is a life-changing breakthrough, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing your brief experience with an allergy attack, and encouraging us to look at that issue with a fresh perspective.

My recovery with weight loss and allergies is definitely a work in progress, but I now feel I have the tools to address these issues with empowerment and hope. Thank you so much for the work you do. I can’t imagine a line of work that would be more rewarding. You have truly been a God-send!

http://www.reverbnation.com/daratucker

I just read “The New Nutritionist: Your Grocer” in the Wall St. Journal (http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB10001424052748704229004575371010407610760-lMyQjAxMTAwMDIwNzEyNDcyWj.html).

Many grocery stores are now displaying the NuVal nutrition score for the products they sell.  The score gives a simple number, between 1 and 100, that is intended to give you an idea of how nutritious a particular product is.  The big question is, are the scores any good?

As with any rating system, the scores are as good as the criteria used to create them. In this case, the US dietary guidelines are the primary bench mark. For example, saturated fat lowers the score and high salt lowers the score. Unfortunately, the single score cannot capture how a particular food might benefit different people’s diets. For example, children need some saturated fat in their diets because it is used for growth (my kids get whole milk, btw).  Similarly, I have very low blood pressure, so I’ve been told by my Dr. to use a bit more salt in my diet if I don’t want to be light headed when I stand up.   Still, the scores might be useful as a guideline, when considered in the context of the needs of a particular individual.

I’m not sure what effect the various “unpronounceable” ingredients have on a score  (”Unpronounceables” are what I call ingredients in processed foods that sound more like they should be in the chemistry lab rather than our bodies)

Still, I’m delighted that at long last, it’s beginning to be good business for supermarkets and food manufacturers to help us be healthy. When we vote with our pocket books, they listen.

So what’s the net-net on NuVal? Whatever the score, the advice is the same as always. Eat a colorful variety of minimally processed foods (foods with no score - those in the produce aisle are best!) - as Michael Pollan says, foods your grandmother or great grandmother probably ate.

And most of all, eat the foods that make your body feel great over time.

In Inside Out Weight Loss episodes 126 - 128 (personallifemedia.com/iowl) discusses this confusing message from a listener named Ann. Ann generously agreed to let me share he exchange and her photo.  She looks glowing to me!

Here are the emails:

Dear Renee:

I’ve hesitated to write for fear of seeming disrespectful, or like a nutcase, but I have been listening to your podcasts daily for over a month now, and I have learned so much from you and gained so many insights.  Thanks to you, I have learned that I do indeed have strong (what you would call) “limiting beliefs,” and that they are way stronger than my motivations.  I learned I am content to remain obese!  What a relief not to have to think anymore about what I should be doing about my weight.

I just wanted you to know that not everyone struggles with their weight.  I certainly never have.  I am not miserable.  I have a great family, a husband who still thinks I’m cute and sexy after 39 years of marriage, a very fulfilling and successful career — and being obese has never once stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do.  I am very healthy, with perfect blood pressure, blood lipids and glucose.  I love to exercise!  My daily time on the treadmill or walking around my hilly neighborhood is one of my favorite parts of the day, and I have been lifting weights for 30 years now.  My job sometimes calls for me to climb fire towers and light houses, and invariably I arrive at the top less out of breath than the park rangers who accompany me.  Just this weekend, I played softball with my family, and enjoyed it immensely.  I have great self esteem, a great body image (I think I look lovely in the mirror, but when I see myself in a photograph, I can’t even recognize myself, because my image of myself is so different from what I actually look like).  

I come from a long line of strong “heavy” (as they are called in my family) women going back generations, and none of them has ever been the worse for it, as far as I know.  (We have female obesity, but not male, for some reason.)  One of the things I am most proud of is that I have raised three beautiful daughters, and not one of them has body issues.  I think my example has been a part of that.

You might be wondering why I am writing.  I just wanted to acknowledge how much I have learned, and how much I appreciate your approach, even though — for me — it didn’t turn out as I imagined.  Nevertheless, it has helped me a great deal, and I feel a connection — and by the way, I think your voice is great!  One of the most professional of all the podcasts I listen to.

In appreciation,
Ann

And my response:

Hi Ann,Thanks for writing. I am so happy that you enjoy IOWL.  Your message is very interesting to me because I hear two things. One that you subscribed to a podcast about weight loss, and say it’s not working, but say you have never struggled with your weight.  You also say that you are very happy at your current weight.

As you probably know, IOWL promotes unconditional self-acceptance as the first order of business, and the facilitator of any physical changes that come after. I’m guessing that you are feeling more accepting of yourself as you are than before, and if this is true, I am delighted.  And if you truly prefer to stay at the weight you are, then you should. It seems like it might provide a connection to your family through generations, and perhaps represent strength to you.

On the other hand, if you perceive weight loss as difficult, or unsafe, and want to change that, know that that too is possible. I would encourage you to accept the woman you see in photos of yourself. She too needs unconditional self acceptance.

It’s really all up to you.  That’s what I love about this approach - you decide what’s best for you.

Thanks again for writing.

And her response:

Dear Renee:

Oh, my gosh!  You replied!  I am so amazed and feel so very honored.  I continue to be “gob-smacked” by your insights.  How you could pick up on two important elements of my “psyche” from one rather silly email is just beyond me.  One, yes, you nailed it — my weight bonds me to my relatives, especially my beloved sister — and is a great source of strength, as we take great pride in not measuring our self-worth by body shape or number on scale.  We feel like iconoclasts — powerful women — as a result.  We choose not to let the world dictate what we should look like.  And I think this has been great role-modeling for my three daughters, too, who are not body-obsessed at all.  To lose weight in the face of all that would seem like a great betrayal of who we are (unless of course there were health reasons to do so).

But two, thanks to listening to your podcasts, I was able to articulate a “limiting belief” that is very strong — and I feel like you somehow picked up on that by mentioning that I might feel weight loss to be unsafe.  Yes — I have a very strong association between weight loss and death and dying.  Both my in-laws, my mom, and a close friend died of wasting diseases, and in addition, I had the misfortune to be working in the arts in New York in the 1980s when the AIDS epidemic was in full swing, before this awful disease could be controlled as it can be now.  Weight loss among my gay colleagues was usually the much-feared first indication of impending doom.  This really had an impact on me — whenever I accidentally lose a couple of pounds, I automatically start eating everything in sight, so as to regain the lost weight, and gain a few extra pounds.  Once I am assured that I’m not dying (!), I lose the extra pounds and go back to normal life.  I realize I have been doing this for decades now.

However — thanks to your email (and I don’t know how you do it, but it is very cool), I just figured out something interesting.  For most of my early life, I was a normal-sized person (I don’t know how much I weighed, but I was a size 12, which I think is pretty ordinary), but never lost weight after my pregnancies.  All this time I was thinking I was overweight because of that — but I just realized that all the death and dying was taking place at that very time. So my “failure” to lose my pregnancy weight likely had nothing to do with pregnancy at all.

So:  to answer your implied question (”If you don’t want to lose weight, why are you listening to IOWL?”):  Insight!  Truly, I have learned so much about myself from listening, and plan to keep on.  You have so much good common sense and strategizing that is just invaluable for overall health and well-being.  And I love your beautiful, soothing voice. As I’m sure you know, it is very calming.

By the way, I didn’t find you — you found me!  I just got a Blackberry, and subscribed to Stitcher via the BB, which as you probably know is a podcast aggregator.  I was listening my way through the science and health categories that are my favorites, and there you were!  I think in the episode I first heard you said something like “you are overweight because your intake exceeds your energy requirements.”  And that really got me to thinking — is it maybe wasteful?  Should I rethink my stance?  So I signed on, and although I continue to believe that I have very little motivation to lose weight, I love having a strong philosophical framework from which to contemplate the issue — which you have provided.  And for which I thank you profoundly.

Thanks so much for your kind reply.  I feel bad taking up time that you should be devoting to your paying clients, but just know that I very much appreciate your approach and your ability to help so many “strugglers.”  You offer the world a great gift.

Warm regards,
Ann

Post a comment and let us know what you think.

Listen to this on IOWL episode 120 (www.personallifemedia.com/iowl)…

So, so, so, so, I will tell you a few very good things that I know

Your life can be easy, your life can be sweet,

if you give this a try, you might just want to tweet

about the places you’ll go and the things that you’ll do

When you settle down now deep inside, oh it’s true

 there’s a space in there deep where you’ve hidden before

without even knowing you can open the door

and you found long ago you had buried away

the treasure, the gift, the game you can play

to release, to discover, to find in your mind

that all you must do is simply be kind

and all becomes possible as your fears melt away

In the now, in the here, in these moments today.

  Guest House

                                        by Rumi

This being human is a guest house,

   Every morning is a new arrival.

  A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

       as an unexpected visitor.

  Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

  who violently sweep your house

         empty of its furniture,

  still, treat each guest honorably,

      He may be clearing you out

          for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

    meet them at the door laughing,

           and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

      because each has been sent

       as a guide from beyond.

Thanks to my friend and talented healer Gina Orlando, for sharing.