This email was a huge, healing gift for me. I cried when I read it.  An extraordinarily noble and courageous gift.  Thank you Ann.

Friday, Oct 8, 2010

Dear Renee,

I just wanted to write again to thank you for your amazing podcast.  I also want to apologize for my last email.  How presumptuous of me to imagine that I understood anything about you, your life, your husband, or your marriage from a silly tv show.  I’m sincerely sorry for judging you in that way.  I don’t know why I felt it was ok to do that.  I had never done such a thing before and I don’t imagine I will ever do such a thing again.  I am so sorry for believing what the producers wanted me to believe.  I think of myself as a savvy, educated person, and I feel so silly for falling for the manipulation of a “reality” tv show.  I know, and I knew at the time, that those shows are very scripted and manipulated and edited very deliberately and that producers make “suggestions” to the participants to shape the story in a certain way, often a way that has very little in common with reality.  Shame on me for buying the story.
I started listening to your podcast about 6 months ago because of recommendations from a fitness website I like (cathe.com).  I listened for awhile before making the connection that this kind-hearted and honest person I was connecting to was the same woman that I had seen on tv, and that I had, to my great horror and embarrassment, emailed.  What a shock!  Anyway, I love the podcast, and I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your curiosity and your wisdom, which applies not only to weight loss but to life in general.  Thank you so much.
Sincerely,

Ann R.
Michigan, USA

Sat, Jan 31, 2009

Dear Renee,

I’ve never contacted people I saw on a TV show before, and I’m sorry for the intrusion.  But I just have to tell you that I felt so bad for you after seeing your episode of Wife Swap.  Actually, I feel bad for everyone who had any contact with your husband.  I know you’ll get many notes telling you that education, wealth, privilege and intelligence don’t excuse boorish and cruel behavior.  I won’t go on about this because it is obviously a truth that I know you are already aware of.

Your husband is clearly abusive.  I’m the adult child of an abusive father and I know abuse when I see it.  You seem like a gentle, kind, successful, and brilliant woman.  You and your children seem cowed by this brutal man.  If he doesn’t get help and immediately STOP his abusive behavior, you really owe it to yourself and your children to get away from him.  He is clearly full of rage and I believe he is a dangerous father and husband.  I hope that your family can get help.

I am a professor of French and my husband is a professor of philosophy.  We are surrounded by highly educated people who share most of your values.  NONE of these people would ever dream of treating another human being with such horrific cruelty.  You may have been around it too long to see how unacceptable his behavior is.  Please don’t allow habit or your husband to convince you that there is any justifiable reason for this kind of behavior.  Again I’m sorry for this intrusion–it just breaks my heart to see someone inflict suffering on others.  I’ve lived it and I know the pain very well.

Ann R.
Michigan, USA