Can Your Body Image be Too Good?
When we hear of distorted body image, so often it refers to those of us who see ourselves as worse than we actually are. Clearly such a distortion creates a great deal of unnecessary pain and suffering.But could it be a problem to see ourselves as better than we are? Isn’t it part of the Law of Attraction to imagine being how we want to be?
Over my almost 10 years working with clients, I’ve noticed something curious about those who have a self image that is actually better than reality. These are the ones who are shocked when they walk past a store window and catch a glimpse of themselves, or when they weigh 252 accidentally say they weigh 152.
What could be the problem?They don’t lose weight, no matter what they do. They eat well, they exercise, they get toned, but they don’t lose weight. What’s going on here?I talk about unconditional self-acceptance as being the foundation for lasting weight loss, and it is. Self-acceptance means accepting ourselves unconditionally as we are now. It does not mean pretending we are something else and feeling good about our illusion.
I can’t say for sure how this works, but here’s my theory. When we acknowledge honestly, clearly and compassionately, where we are now, blubber and all, while holding in our minds an image of ourselves even better, we create a tension between these two states. Our subconscious minds seek to resovle this tension by making these images match. If we have good feelings around how we want to be, then this tension will be resolved toward the future image.
What can you do if you can’t see yourself as you are now? EFT would be a great start, saying something like “even though I can’t see myself clearly, I am chosing to see myself clearly and compassionately”. You’ll be headed in the right direction!
momentum09 said,
October 9, 2009 @ 9:12 am
Hi Renee,
I’ve actually been thinking about this quite a bit the past few days. I have had a pretty incredible summer. I finished my MA thesis, traveled to Central America for the first time, and walked in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day in San Francisco. My on again, off again, relationship of four years is settling into a compassionate friendship that seems to be moving towards partnership in a way that feels good - scary but good
I was promoted at work and am settling into a good groove with my new job. My finances are settling down nicely. I have, over the past three years lost 60 lbs. In the past three months while the rest of my life has been going wonderfully, I’ve gained six. The weird part is that I’m not worried about it! In the past I think I would have been freaking out, and maybe subconsciously I am a little bit. But, for the most part, I know that I’ve had a pretty anxiety filled summer, and six is better than sixty, and I can, and do, self-correct ALL the time! I still use food to try to soothe my anxiety, but I’ve developed other ways too - walking, sitting meditations, journaling, friends, the elliptical! Heh 
Here’s the thing. The other thing that seems to have happened is that I’ve grown to kinda, like, well, love myself.
I even feel weird writing that. It almost feels like the most vain, self-centered thing that I could possibly write here. I kinda, well, love…um… me. Hmm. Still feels weird. 
I’ve been wondering if that means that I’ve gotten to a place where I’m so in love with who I am and the images in the mirror that I won’t lose weight any more - though I want to loose another 39 lbs to be at my “goal weight.” And, you know, since all the big things that I’m usually anxious about… work, school, money, relationship etc. seem to be in a good place my monkey mind needs something to latch onto and it’s beginning to look like this might be it! I’ve been listening to IOWL for a year now and I attribute a great deal of the growth in me and in my life to the lessons that I have learned from you. Thank you for that. And thank you for this space to share this thing that has been sitting in the back of my mind for the past few weeks. I guess I am wondering, is it okay to feel so “in love” with me all the time!? lol. Does this mean that I’ve swung to another end of a pendulum of unhealthy self image?
g
admin said,
October 9, 2009 @ 1:25 pm
Congratulations g! Being in love with you sounds great to me. Because we naturally want to take great care of what we love.
Just add a dash of intention to easily slim down to your love affair, as well as a good dose of the behavior change techniques I offer in the podcast (Inside Out Weight Loss -www.personallifemedia.com/iowl).
Robyn said,
October 14, 2009 @ 10:44 am
Thank you Renee for this blog! I’ve realized more that this is the only body I have and it gives me a vehicle to live life. So, love it and nurture your body and mind, and it will transform into what it is supposed to be naturally. Naturally slender and naturally happy