When we hear of distorted body image, so often it refers to those of us who see ourselves as worse than we actually are. Clearly such a distortion creates a great deal of unnecessary pain and suffering.But could it be a problem to see ourselves as better than we are? Isn’t it part of the Law of Attraction to imagine being how we want to be?
Over my almost 10 years working with clients, I’ve noticed something curious about those who have a self image that is actually better than reality. These are the ones who are shocked when they walk past a store window and catch a glimpse of themselves, or when they weigh 252 accidentally say they weigh 152.
What could be the problem?They don’t lose weight, no matter what they do. They eat well, they exercise, they get toned, but they don’t lose weight. What’s going on here?I talk about unconditional self-acceptance as being the foundation for lasting weight loss, and it is. Self-acceptance means accepting ourselves unconditionally as we are now. It does not mean pretending we are something else and feeling good about our illusion.
I can’t say for sure how this works, but here’s my theory. When we acknowledge honestly, clearly and compassionately, where we are now, blubber and all, while holding in our minds an image of ourselves even better, we create a tension between these two states. Our subconscious minds seek to resovle this tension by making these images match. If we have good feelings around how we want to be, then this tension will be resolved toward the future image.
What can you do if you can’t see yourself as you are now? EFT would be a great start, saying something like “even though I can’t see myself clearly, I am chosing to see myself clearly and compassionately”. You’ll be headed in the right direction!