Inside Out Weight Loss: Aligning Mind, Body and Spirit for Lasting Change

Where I stand

I must remove these posts for reasons I can’t disclose, but please know that the sentiments continue to be genuine. I can however leave the comments up. I thank you so much for your heartfelt perspectives, whatever they are. I appreciate you speaking up for what you believe in and wanting to make the world a better place. I am especially grateful to those of you who have expressed your kindness and compassion.

I hope that we can all move our focus back to ending the weight struggle and devolping and sharing our soul’s gifts. 

Love and Light,



  1. ChristopherAnn said,

    February 4, 2009 @ 12:16 pm

    Renee -

    I could use a little help with my weight, and like most of us, advice on improving my life. I found you because of the Wife Swap flap, so some good has undoubtedly come from this.

    And now a little advice to you. Hang in there. Nobody has contracted a life-threatening disease, or anything else from which you cannot recover. This is all temporary. It will go away.

    I suggest you and your family pack yourselves up today and take a week’s vacation. Yes, I know that it’s the middle of the school year, but your children’s teachers will understand. Get their assignments in advance. Go someplace like Mexico where nobody has HEARD of Wife Swap. Stay offline. Come home, and most of this will have dissipated like the smoke from the fires in the distant hills.

    And you can begin to put your lives back in place.


  2. Mel said,

    February 4, 2009 @ 1:25 pm

    I am glad to see these comments from you both. It is enough for me, but I am a pretty forgiving person. I feel it would be in your best interest to either make some amends (preferably with the Longs) on television or perhaps on youtube. I have been following the message boards on ABC,( which is quite out of character for me), and I get the feeling that people need to see you squirm a bit before they will forgive.

  3. texasgirl said,

    February 4, 2009 @ 1:59 pm

    I am not sure how I came across this site but I saw your post. I also read your husbands post and I wanted to respond.

    I want to say that I understand that the show is edited to give an effect for ratings. I’m guessing your husband got caught up in the moment and the stress of the situation. Yes, his comments were wrong and hurtful but I think he has learned a hard lesson from this.

    I wanted to say that I hope for the best for you. I pray that this hard time you are going through will pass quickly. I hope this makes you a better person, stronger, and wiser.

    I accept your husband’s apology and I apologize to you for the hatred that is being spewed in return. To condemn someone’s actions but to react in the same manner is hypocritical. I’m sorry.

    As I said, I hope and pray for the best for you, your husband, and your children. In life may we all continue to grow in love for one another. 1 Cor 13

  4. whartone said,

    February 4, 2009 @ 2:23 pm

    I have yet to see the episode, so I don’t have an exact understanding of how extreme the situation was, I do know that Wife Swap has a way of pushing people to emotional extremes. I also think that the way the show is directed and edited is rather manipulative (as it seems to be on most reality shows), to make people look as extreme as possible. Unfortunately, this approach seems to garner the strongest audience response to reality TV.

    I also think it’s important to look at the larger picture; Renee, you’ve helped so many people! I’m certain this is a difficult time for you, but don’t forget all the wonderful things you’ve done, ending the weight struggle for so many people.

  5. zoey said,

    February 4, 2009 @ 4:20 pm

    Dear Renee,

    I have not seen WS in years and just happened to catch it Friday night. You came across as kind, patient and sincere, and I share your passion for healthy living and exercise. I know that your family has suffered tremendously from all the backlash to Stephen’s behavior on the show. I wish you and your family well.

  6. ccroch said,

    February 4, 2009 @ 6:39 pm

    Wife Swap is my guilty viewing pleasure and I am often amused at the intentional matching of polar opposite family styles. My family and I often discuss the type of family we would be swapped with. It was very uncomfortable watching the episode last Friday especially when you seemed to able to reach the Long family so profoundly.

    I have been following all of the communication and waiting to see your family’s response. Thank you for taking the high road and responding especially in the face of a lot of returned hatred.

  7. beebee said,

    February 4, 2009 @ 10:25 pm

    all i can say is BRA-VO! wonderful. WONDERFUL. thank you so much for writing this, and please thank your husband for writing his apology letter, too–it takes a big person to admit when they are wrong and ask for forgiveness, but that is what we are here to do when we or someone we care for is in error: understand, acknowledge, forgive, and endeavor to do better.

    BRA-VO, renee–i applaud you–and stephen, too–those were very well-written letters of sincere regret and i am quite impressed.

    by the way, i have really benefited from reading some of your postings on this website, especially those concerning focus and optimism and weight loss and the concentrating on the “interior work” of the mind and soul…and i just think, you know? maybe it WAS for a purpose and a greater good, the wife swap experience, because i feel like there is some wonderful information here on your blog that CAN help a lot of people.

    once again, bravo–that was great. i salute you. good goin’!

  8. santacruzannie said,

    February 5, 2009 @ 9:52 pm

    Thank you for your apology letter and your husband’s too- I believe you all are sincere and I am ready to move on and go back to the hard work of understanding my inner motivations and working to have better responses to various emotional triggers that do not include over-eating.

    Peace out!

  9. Retro said,

    February 6, 2009 @ 9:00 am

    I will admit it, my first instinct was to think really mean nasty thoughts about you both, especially because I come from a “po dunk” town, and have broken the cycle by getting an education and becoming a professional. I’m not better than anyone. I’m just fortunate because now I have more choices. I always remember what it was like to come from those roots, and frankly a lot of things said hurt me. However, public apologies have been made. I have to think they are sincere, and I think everyone just needs to move on. I am.

    My wise grandma would say “This too shall pass”. In my experience, the public has a very short attention span, and it will blow over.

    Now, that being said, let’s talk about weight loss. I need to lose about 20 lbs. with a healthy lifestyle change. I recently had a baby, and passed the CPA Exam. Lots of stress food binging after the pregnancy! I think there is a lot of good advice on here, and I am ready to make a change.

    I need a healthy way to diet, because quite honestly, I am an anorexia survivor, and diets scare me because I sometimes don’t know how to stop. Has anyone else you worked with ever had this issue?

  10. anettle said,

    February 6, 2009 @ 11:42 am

    Hang in there, Renee! I have been thinking about you and your family. As you say in your podcasts, I hope you are feeling the support thousands of times over from all of your listeners whose lives you have improved.

    I don’t plan on watching the show because I believe they do edit them to create controversy. I also know we all make mistakes, and the use of this venue to reach out to people may have been a mistake. Who knows? I do know that every person in the audience has at some point wished they could take back something they have said or done!

    My hope is that all the listeners who are unhappy about the show will remember your lessons regarding supporting each other and finding friends who are supportive. You have certainly been a friend to so many (which is why I feel I can call you Renee, I suppose!), and now I hope that your listener friends will join together and support you in this difficult time.

    Don’t lose sight of your goals and dreams! They are so important and you are so effective at putting them into action.

    Best wishes to you and your family!

  11. anettle said,

    February 6, 2009 @ 11:45 am

    RETRO, please consider joining the Yahoo group for IOWL to discuss the important topics you mention! It is a great group.

  12. 5Artgirl said,

    February 6, 2009 @ 3:09 pm

    Dear Renee,
    I would like to know that I am grateful everyday for the gift of your pod-casts, your wisdom and your support. I feel I am really growing and changing with your work.
    Thank you very much.

    I feel very sad for you and your family, I am sure that the way you have been portrayed is the furthest thing from your intentions. The problem with reality TV shows is that they are not really about reality, their intention is to be provocative and to create extreme television to keep people watching. It is too bad that you chose to participate in all of this.

    Take care.

  13. Jen C. said,

    February 6, 2009 @ 6:38 pm

    Why is organic food so darn expensive? I mean, I know they don’t use pesicides so it is more expensive to grow, etc., but it makes me so mad that to eat healthy you have to spend way more money than to eat junky. I am a very poor law student and can’t afford to eat as healthy as I once did. I do eat fruits, vegetables and whole grains, but it is so irritating. Do you know of any organic food movements? Gosh, there should be one if there isn’t.


  14. Terrapin said,

    February 6, 2009 @ 11:22 pm

    Having seen the “Wife Swap” program last week, I was quite impressed with your and your husband’s life values. He is indeed an honorable and magnanimous man for having devoted himself to progressive causes such as environmentalism. While his attempts at sardonic British barbs were not-so-Swiftian, I hope he will redouble his efforts to support a progressive political and economic future for this country.

  15. 1moresteve said,

    February 18, 2009 @ 2:07 pm

    My name is Steven Fowler and I live in San Francisco. I have never seen and only heard that there was a tv reality show called ‘Wife Swap’. Then my phone began ringing and the callers were understanding, but the messages left were full of threats against me. My phone was put on automatic dialing and finally we unplugged the phone whenever the calls would begin again.
    I felt like The Wrong Man thrown to the sharks. What does this say about our society? We can tear someone’s life up whom we don’t know because we are angry at someone else represented on the television.
    The worst for me was that I could not call ABC and complain.
    I am hoping it is over. It sure does make you feel alone.

  16. FormerSFOresident said,

    February 19, 2009 @ 9:52 am

    I am a former bay area resident I found about your weightloss and life coaching services from your recent intense experience on the Wife Swap show. I am here because after following through the whole narrative, my attitude went from one of outrage to one of forgiveness, and support. I want to say that as badly as Stephen behaved on the show, his written apology and his resignations from some non-profit boards shows me a man who did, after all, learn a great deal from the wife swap experience. And it shows me a man who was very brave to write that letter. It always sucks to make mistakes and its even worse to do so publicly. Many people make public mistakes, not many of them write such a clear and complete statement of regret and apology, cheers Stephen. And Cheers to you Renee for sticking by your husband, yet making it clear you did not support his bad behavior. I did not expect to see this end with you both making amends and moving forward, so I must say in a way I now feel my faith in human nature validated by you two. And now that I have had my say on the wife swap show, I want to stick around and patronize your site because it is only right that more good than bad come from all this. and because I am sure I can learn from you. Be well and I look forward to exploring your pod casts and the site and commenting on anything other than the wife swap show from here on out.

  17. dogred said,

    February 20, 2009 @ 6:55 pm

    WOW! Your condescending attitude and your husband’s rude and vulgar behavior was deplorable! I know, a big word for someone from the midwest! Only problem is, I am SURE that I have a higher level of education than either you or your husband - and I have NEVER EVER treated or talked to another human being like that, but then again I have PROUD AMERICAN MIDWESTERN VALUES! Maybe you should visit - then again -no thanks. What a complete lack of class. The fact that you are a life coach is absolutely bewildering to me (I know another big word!). I think it is time to resign and choose a new career path!

  18. Eric Patras said,

    February 20, 2009 @ 10:25 pm

    Good job of removing all the negative comments. You probably think all us dumb Americans will think there weren’t any.

  19. DallasMonkey said,

    February 20, 2009 @ 11:28 pm

    Dearest Renee,
    I was really angry watching WS and seeing how your husband behaved. I don’t really care how much “acting” or “hamming it up” was taking place. People are who are they are and I am not sure anyone was forced to say anything they didn’t feel was true. (You made the point about things you said being taken out of context and that is definitely understood). That said i was ready to write a scathing post being very critical of both of you. 1. for your husbands behavior. 2. for your apparent condoning of it.

    However, it is now clear that you are feeling incredibly hurt and in pain from the whole ordeal. There are few things in life more debilitating than seeing someone you deeply love disappoint you. It makes you question your own judgement. So with that, I will tell you that as a fellow Bay area resident, I am cheering for you to rebound from this. Life will always have things that knock us down. Our ability to get up is what truly defines us. I hope you can get your own personal house in order before you continue to work on helping others. You will be that much better for it. All the Best

  20. SFguy said,

    February 20, 2009 @ 11:30 pm

    Steven Fowler’s children are the forgotten victims here. As an over weight - under educated person, I feel he taught his children not to consider us for our behavior - but to hate us at all cost.

  21. Darla123 said,

    February 21, 2009 @ 3:43 pm

    No one is blaming you for your husbands attitude I sincerly hope he treats you and your children with respect. I am glad to have found this website and I hope to find assistance losing my extra pounds.
    Regarding you husbands post on his apology………….I wonder did HE really write it or did you do what I would have and write it for him to cool off public opinon of him LOL!

  22. 99problemsbutyourmomaintone said,

    February 24, 2009 @ 4:03 pm

    I totally believe in you, your husband’s sincerity, and Santa Claus. In that order.

    Love and light!

  23. desiette said,

    March 20, 2009 @ 4:37 pm


    Last time I checked, its a free country. People may not like what he said, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have said it. Although your husbands words were a tad harsh, they certainly weren’t untrue.

    A lot of people in this country are indeed under educated, over opinionated and overweight. And that is not a happy combination. We need more people like him, who tell it like it is.

    And hey if they cant take it, they don’t have to watch it.


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