It’s that time of year again. For some, the holidays mean fun, family and friends, while for others, it’s a stress feast, er, I mean fest. I’ve experienced both, so to help you make the most of your days of gratitude and gravy, I’ve come up with this 3 step guide to making the most of it.

1. Set your intent for the holiday break.

So often we tumble into the holidays on the heels of frantic work and family schedules without a thought for what is to come. Take a moment, even as you are reading this, to think about what you want for this break. If the food is a potential mine field, then decide how you would like it to be. Would you like to maintain your weight through the Thanksgiving weekend or lose weight? Would you like to be calm and centered through the dynamic family dynamics? Decide first, and set your intent.

2. Be a movie star.

Do a “Pre-Do”. A pre-do is a little mental movie you run, with you as the star. See yourself the way you want to be through Thanksgiving and the weekend. The key in this movie is to first focus on how you would like to feel, and then imagine how you would act feeling that way. Run it at least three times. By doing this, you are creating a powerful pattern for your subconscious mind to follow.

3. Share the thanks and the giving.

For the thanks piece, as my father used to say, “every morning I check the obituaries. If my name isn’t there, it’s a good day”. I know, gratitude is the last thing on your mind around certain people, espeically those family members who you see only because they are family members. So here’s a little self-serving trick to make doing your family duty a little easier. See an image of the challenging person in your mind’s eye and chant “I forgive” for a couple of minutes before you see them for real. Let me know what happens.

Now that that’s out of the way, think about who you love, and notice what a gift it is to love. Roll around in the joy of it, and spread it like butter all over everyone you see.

Finally, remember the giving part. Give your friendship and your love generously and unconditionally, in gratitude for having it to give. There is no greater gift.